I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
