I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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