He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
