More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Two words: nipple clamps
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