I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize