booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
