Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
