if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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