The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
