I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
