Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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