I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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