Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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