i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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