New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
