We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
