On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
