he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
