That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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