I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
