R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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