So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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