when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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