Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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