so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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