Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
