Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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