is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My ass is underappreciated
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
