he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
