every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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