Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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