You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize