YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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