wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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