Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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