just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
