I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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