My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
