I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
