I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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