Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
