My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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