help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
