Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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