I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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