do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
