I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
