girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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