My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
