BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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