that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
