also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
