I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
