Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize