it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
