Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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