we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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