He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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