I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
do herpes really smell.
Sober January is a disaster.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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