i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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