Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
